The year that was 2012

This is the first time I've logged onto the blog since my last post on Christmas Eve, and so much has happened since then.  Christmas had it's ups and downs this year, and ended on a very sad note on New Year's Eve with the death of my Grandma.  Just less than 6 months since my Grandpa died, so a really tough start for 2013.  And somehow we've made it to February already, and I really felt I must get back and post something about the other big changes in my life.

The day my Grandpa died, was the day that I first started thinking about leaving my job to focus more time on my local community, and the day my Grandma died, was the day that I officially left the council...funny how these kind of things sometimes happen.

So far 2013 has been about finding a new rhythm.  

The kids have changed to four mornings at nursery and we are having fun-filled afternoons with plans - to ensure we do stuff.  We're hanging out with their friends more, got a year's membership to the aquarium (just a 15 mins walk away!), playing in the park and on the beach, visiting the library and grandparents, and baking cakes and painting.  A really precious time as the first day at school looms this September for my eldest.

I'm also self-employed and currently doing a day a week for the CRED Foundation and taking on responsibility for all their finances.  I love what the charity stands and strives for, and it's great to have flexibility and more freedom in when and how I work (although I miss my collegues at the Council and the heating, although am relishing the ICT freedoms ;-)

Then there's obviously the joys of life, running a house and a family and attempting to find some time to run.  Along with making time to focus on encouraging community in the local patch.  No giant leaps there, just little steps (which is how I think these things normally pan out).  So far the little steps have entailed:

• gritting the pavement on our street before the snow hit - thanks Council for the free grit bins you leave dotted round the city for us to use on pavements...however, it appeared to not make a blind bit of difference...grrrr!  Had good conversations with neighbours whilst doing it, so not a totally wasted effort
• chatted with some gardeners in our park about why the kids hide and seek bushes had all been chopped down, and have the name of someone at the council to contact to see how we can influence what goes on in our park, going forward
• am planning an evening for local neighbours linked with International Women's Day (8th March)
• am starting to explore logistics of a community lunch in the park for early summer
• getting along to the council's budget consultation meetings
• drawing up plans for the front yard/community herb garden
• and actually found some time to attend some Governor training sessions to help with one of the local schools/nursery/children's centre, where I'm a Governor.

So when I write it down...not bad going considering ;-)

Now the dilemma is whether to carry on this blog.  I've written less in the second half of the year, and it was a blog for 2012, so part of my feels like signing off.

The other part of me has quite enjoyed writing something down and looking back over the year's journey, so would like to carry something on....but what?  A new blog?  Called what?  Focused on what?

So for anyone that's reading this, feel free to let me know any thoughts/views if you have them.  I'm throwing it out there, and perhaps this will be my last word...

End of the Summer Update

What summer?  You might well ask! 

We ended August off well yesterday with a day out with the Smiths.  We rode our bikes to the Hayling Island Ferry, had a boat trip across and then cycled along to the beach near 'Inn on the Beach'.  Had a great time playing in the sea and on the beach and enjoyed a picnic lunch and a BBQ Sausage kids tea, before cycling back to the boat and then on home.   A great local day out!  (So much richness, so near by!)

Just 5 more loads to go!

I've made it through the mammoth pile of washing after Greenbelt (I truely appreciate the washing machine and love it lots!!), washed mud from wellies and the buggy and just about got the house back to normal.  I'm now keeping my eye out for a bigger tent to get on pre-loved websites or through anyone we might know.

I've got a bit further on my running schedule and Andy also took up running this week.  It's a great free exercise, and I'm amazed at the amount of people paying to be shouted at military-style, down on the seafront and common to get fit.  Give me a quiet run any day!

Money

Changing bank accounts is progressing (slightly slowly), and the kids accounts are all set-up.  Our new Co-Op account is complete, and I'm now just waiting for their switching team to work their magic on all our DDs etc.  I'm now also starting the task of setting up our new ISAs, now I've got a new current account to link them too.

I've registered for a water meter, which should be installed in the next 3 months.  I doubt we'll get any savings from it, but I want to have more connection with this precious resource, and have more responsibility over how we use it.  

Giving

I got a letter from World Vision this week, saying that our sponsored child had moved away (not uncommon as families move for work or to be nearer other family members), so now we have to get a new child to sponsor.  I found it really sad news, and it brought back quite a few miscarriage emotions.  Irrelevant of the money that we send, M & I have sent letters and pictures to Grace, we've prayed for her, and we have her picture up in our bedroom and kitchen, and have spent lots of time talking about where she lives and how our lives are different.  It feels like a real loss, and I can't bring myself to take her picture down.  Even if the money can't get it her, our prayers can still.  But it does feel rather like losing a child again, and yet again I realise that I'd be useless as a foster parent and adoption is definitely more for me.

September

I have one more week off with the kids, which will include a visit to Grandma's.  And then it's back to work and nursery routine.  I'm also feeling the need to start planning Christmas gifts as when you make them all, you really do need a big lead time, so that might be quite a focus this autumn.  And I need to spend some time thinking about some changes for 2013 (watch this space), not to mention deciding on a school of M for Sept 2013.  How time flies! 

International Women's Day

As it's International Women's Day today I've been thinking about the amazing women that I know, and also about sisters who are less fortunate than me in a material sense.

When I cleaned the bathrooms in the house today, I spent time thinking about the blessing that we have in good sanitation and the fact that we even have the luxury of two toilets in the house, and a choice of a shower or a bath with constantly available running water.

How richly blessed we are!  (Now the challenge is to have that attitude every time I come to clean them ;-)

Just off out now to a friend's to chat and ponder some more.
http://www.oxfam.org.uk/womensday?pscid=ps_clk_IWD+2012

January Review

image from http://www.edupics.com.html

Firstly, I can't believe that January is almost over already, and for me that means heading back to work, but I thought it would be good to try and take stock of positives this month, and what I need to think more about for the coming months.

Overall the month feels like a bit of a fail, as there have been some mammoth expenses going out (although it's not really the amount, it's whether there's an alternative solution), however, perhaps I'm being a bit tough of myself when I actually look at what they are :

• a fairly large tax bill (part tax return and part NI missed payments from several years ago when I as setting up a business and not earning...was it worth filling the gap?  Will we ever have any government pension to mention? I really struggle with pensions as they really clash with the feeling of living with God in today, in faith...more pondering required!)  p.s. I don't have any issue with the tax paying...only on what my taxes are spent on!
• the car's MOT (it actually did very well, but still costs so much, for something that we don't actually use that much.  We've considered going car-less when it dies, but when we looked into the cost of hiring a car, or getting the train to visit relatives for a week or so in the summer, unbelievably it costs more than us having the car serviced, taxed & MOT'd for the whole year!!  And we can't quite manage Preston on the bicycles!)
• repairs on the house (the garden fence panels almost blew down in the recent gales, so needed sorting - the one positive, is that with some persuasion the guy fixing them managed to revamp them, rather than scrap them and just give us new ones, pretty much the same cost, and there was really nothing wrong with 95% of them!  A leaky roof and gutter that meant our front yard flooded in giant rain.  Both things that pre-kids I've have had a go at doing myself, but currently I only seem to manage to keep on top of the things in the house, I knew that realistically it would be months before I'd get round to sorting, and who knows what the winter water would have done in that time!)

And going into next month we have two outstanding possible expenses that are playing on my mind:

• we have a digibox thing which means we can record TV programmes, and the reality of life is that we never watch anything live anymore (other than kids TV).  The harddrive is going, and I know we'll end up getting a new one, but I do feel annoyed that we're all so desiring of TV (especially when you consider the quality of most of it).  Especially in the winter months, we use it to switch off, to iron in front of, and we love things likes Sherlock.  But really, is it the best use of hundred quid?
• and finally the nightmare of our small backyard!  It's the biggest challenge on the multi-use front ever: kids play/bike storage/clothes drying/food growing.  And the bike cover is on it's last legs, and with M about to get a little bike too, we just need more storage space.  So do we get a wooden shed?  If so, the only logical place to put it, is in the only good bit of sun space in the garden, where I was about to get lots of growing going!  Ahhhhhhhhhhh...............or do we just stick to plastic covers for the meantime, but end up replacing them frequently?  Just can't decide.  (Was hoping either a shed or bike cover would come our way and the decision could be made...but no sign so far.  And the four uses are good things...not making the decision any easier.)  Am I just overtired and thinking too much ;-)

On the positive front, January has been great in some little ways:

• waste is down to a minimum....once we eliminate disposible nappies at night next month, we'll be producing less than a kilo of non-recyclable waste each week (the small black bag looks ridiculous when I put it out...hooray!!!)
• all birthday cards this month have been recycled, and 90% of the gifts too
• we haven't thrown any food away
• the chores list has worked really well (for me at least)
• and I've made marmalade for the first time.

So let's see what February brings!

The reality of returning to work

As I start this new year, I also return back to work after my maternity leave, and although I don't start back properly until February, the reality of trying to juggle everything has been playing on my mind.

Before I tackle how to fit in all the extra things to make and grow that I've been thinking about, I have to work out how to manage the house as well as having great time with the kids when we're not at work and nursery.  The last thing I want is for all our time to be taken up with chores, but I do want a clean and safe environment for them to grow, and although my standards are definitely not where they used to be, the reality of meal planning, washing and cleaning are still there.

So my pondering on how to make sure that these chores don't overwhelm me and steal quality time and my thoughts, has lead to two things.

The first is a new plan, which of course includes a tick list!  I love having lists and crossing things off, but hate rewriting this kind of repetitive list, as it highlights the never ending cycle that I'm in.  So my latest plan (knowing me there will be a different one next year), is a list of weekly, fortnightly and monthly chores.  There is a plastic sheet over the top, so I (possibly we) can cross things off, but when the timeframe has passed, simply wipe off the markings and start again.  The theory of it being in view is that another adult in the house may also do some of these tasks, but by his own admission, I won't hold my breath ;-)

The second plan is to shift my attitude to these tasks.  An old uni friend of mine, Roger Bretherton, has recently written a book called 'the GOD lab' in which he talks about the Beatitudes and gives experiments for you to do at the end of each chapter.  On of these, is to pause in something that you're doing, and use all your senses to really experience the moment.  What can I hear, see, feel, smell, taste?  I've started doing it when I breastfeed my son, as I often spend the time thinking about all the things I need to do, coming up with ideas etc.  But the time I spend with him in these moments is really precious and going so fast!  This has really helped me to enjoy the moment, savour it, live in it, not in the past or the future, and thank God for it.  

So my plan, is to try and apply that to the chores too.  Some I'll do with my daughter (as she loves helping!) and are precious, some are just moments to pause in the now.  Having just done it a few times already, I've found myself being so thankful to God; thankful that I have the ability to do the tasks (have found the time, have the strength, the mental capacity, my health, have been blessed with the appliance that makes it so much easier etc), so already I'm finding a new richness in something I'd never have thought I could.

So thanks God and Roj!


(Here's another photo of the list, for those that requested the ability to read it all ;-)